I know it's been a while, no excuses, been busy, but here it goes,,,please excuse the spelling and grammer, I am new at this, but I am trying :-)
Where's my voice?
I don't mean, "dude, I yelled so loud @ the Van Halen show last night, I blew my voice out",,,that would have been 20+ yrs ago, time warp up to 2009 and I am trying to ask, "where is my voice in this world?".
I feel alot like Forest Gump sometimes, remember him?
He had many great things happen to him in his life, not planned, but they just happened,,,,,he met Elvis and tough him how to dance, he served in Vietnam and saved lives and was a hero, he was a top college football player, he owned the shrimp company, stock in Apple Computers, the list goes on and on,,,
Well, I kinda feel like him in a sense that I have done many things in my life, some at a very early age, and still to this day do good things too, but I feel like it is not enough, or, that the things that I am doing are not what I was "meant" to do.
Or better yet, what GOD want's me to do. Does this make any sense?
The reason I bring this up is that I have felt for many years that I was meant to do things, it feels right, only for it to turn out not to be. Most of these decisions I will admit, were dreams and would have never been the right thing to do, and I have often quit jobs and made choices for the wrong reasons.
The focus has always been providing a good home for my family so they feel safe, a roof over their heads, and food in their bellies.
So far I have,,,,,,played guitar, (still play), a Studio Recording Engineer, an Expert level Moto-Cross Racer, a very successful engine designer and rebuild expert for motorcycle racing engines, and most recently,(for the past 14 yrs), been a Supervisor in the Entertainment Dept for a local Casino.
I am doing well for myself, providing for my family, but I still feel like I am not doing what GOD has in store for me.
I mean, I have been blessed beyond belief with my family's health, I have had financial blessings fall in my lap when I needed it the most, you name it, it has happened to me.
But I still wonder what is yet to come, what else is out there for me, what challenges and tests does GOD want to put me through so I can call out to him when I should, (always), and most of all, how to better serve GOD with my voice in this world?
So today I pray,,,,GOD, thank you for my wonderfully healthy family,,,,thank you for trusting me with them, I will not let you down on this, they are safe with me. They will be clothed and warm with me, they will have full bellies at night and we are thankful for you and the blessings you have given us.
I still want to serve you more GOD, I want to be a voice for you, but feel like you have more for me, I am ready GOD. I have swept floors, worked in junkyards, and bloodied my hands doing the simple things, knowing that I must be able to handle the simple things before I can handle the great things.
Thanks for listening- Joshua